My Coming Out Story
I’m going to share my coming out story and how important this is to do when you are a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered teenager.
Sunday, March 6th, 2011:
At this time in my life I had been on month 6 with my serious girlfriend, Caroline. We are long distance so it’s not like anyone really saw clues I was gay (besides my obsession with rainbows and Lady GaGa…haha) but her and I talked about our future quiet a lot and I knew/felt like it was time to come out to my family. This was going to be a big step for me, but I knew that I had to do it sometime soon. She meant (and still means) a whole hell of a lot to me and I wanted to show her that I was serious about us and our future. So I got the idea…I was going to talk to the first person that would understand and accept me for who I am, my brother Trevor. He’s 25 years old and lives with his girlfriend 30 minutes away from me. I called him up on that Friday and asked him if we could go to breakfast, just him and I. He said Sunday he’d come pick me up and we’d go to breakfast.
Well Sunday came around, and I was so scared. I mean terrified. I never really came out to anyone before..only my close friends knew so this was new to me. My brother has had gay friends and he isn’t religious like my other family members (we’re Roman Catholic) so I shouldn’t have been as scared as I was. I guess I was just really confused in what to say. Do I tell him about Caroline first? Tell him that I planned my college and career path around her? Or that I just strictly do not have interest in boys?
He took me to our local Panera Bread (I will never look at that place the same way again!) and we both got our breakfast and drinks and sat at a little booth. I was facing him. He first started to ask me how I was doing in school and how things are going around the house with me being the last kid left in the house. (My brother moved in with his girlfriend and my sister had been living in Spain for the past year) I answered everything and I began to feel my throat go dry. I had been ripping up my napkin in my lap and chewing on ice to calm my nerves. (My anxiety disorder didn’t help either.) Then I just told him how I went to this college presentation for this university at my school and wanted to go to the University of North Florida that was in Jacksonville, FL (Where Caroline lived 3 1/2 hours away) and that I wanted my Master’s in American Sign Language. He told me that it’s awesome how I was planning and looking for colleges now since next year, I’d be a senior. Then after I shared that I said, “Do you remember that girl that came here to visit during Thanksgiving? Caroline?” (Caroline came the whole Thanksgiving week for our first time meeting in person, we met on here) He said he remembered her and I said “Well, we’ve…been dating for 6 months.” He said that he wasn’t surprised because he was talking to my dad about how I’m always on the phone and my phone bill has only one number that shows up on my call log. I told him about my plans with her and how we are really perfect for one another. He sat there and listened to me as I poured my heart out to him about how I’d been in relationships with boys before but it did feel as right like I did when I was with Caroline. He told me that the right thing to do was to tell mom and dad. He said he and Kathy (his girlfriend) would be there for moral support when I told them. So we planned for next week on Sunday, he would come over and I would sit down and talk to my parents about where I wanted to go to college and officially come out.
Sunday, March 13th, 2011:
This was it! This was the day I had been waiting for, for almost 3 years! I was going to come out to mom and dad! My head and heart were in 2 different places. I was scared, nervous, anxious, and worried. I knew my parents would love me no matter what but I was nervous that they would be disappointed, and you know there’s nothing worse than your parents being disappointed in you. I knew I had to do it though because I cared (still care) about Caroline and I wanted to start being honest with my parents. So I told everyone I wanted them to sit at the kitchen table and I brought out my booklet I got for the college at UNF and earlier that day I had written out all the things I wanted to talk about out on a little checklist. (I still have it actually!) I began telling my parents about what I knew about the college and how I wanted to go for Sign Language, surprisingly, they listened. With Trevor and Kathy sitting right by my side, I felt invincible. Now, if you know me, you know I am EXTREMELY emotional. I cry at certain commercials, so I knew the water-works were coming anytime soon. And I took one deep breath and the tears filled my eyes and I came out by saying “Mom and Dad, I love you guys so much and I’m not being fully honest with you…I’ve been dating Caroline for 6 months.” I felt a huge wave of relief with a mixture of my cheeks burning red. My mom looked at me as tears filled in her eyes and said “So, you’re saying you’re a lesbian?” I shook my head up and down. I remembered I looked over at Kathy and she was crying as well and she rubbed my arm. My dad looked at me like he was hurt…I couldn’t tell what he was feeling at first. But we sat at that table for close to 2 hours and I let it all out. How I loved her and how we met on Downelink (FaceBook for gay people) and how I want to go to college and live with her when I go there. By the end of the night after all the tears and sniffles, my family had this big group hug. So I knew this was the right decision.
As of today, June 13th 2011, it’s been 3 months since I’ve been out to my family and I couldn’t ask for anything better. I’m so glad I did it because I feel closer to my family now. My mom is okay with it now. Her and I became closer and she’s my best friend now. I feel like I can tell her anything and I always update her on Caroline’s life and often times, we joke around about being gay. My dad is getting better every day with it. He still thinks it’s a phase because being gay is “in” at the moment and my idol (Lady GaGa) supports and talks about the gay community. But, when I ask him if I can go to Jacksonville or if Caroline came come to Tampa he always works something out for me. He still has trouble with it, but we are going to start counseling so he can better understand my sexuality. My brother and Kathy always ask about her and I feel like I can be myself around my family all of the time! As for my sister, I told her when she got back from Spain a week ago and she seems to accept it too. I wouldn’t be anywhere without my families love and support. I am so thankful.
This is my story. I sent it to MTV for a coming out special in October 2011 and they wanted me to be on it, but I declined. If you need ANY kind of help, come talk to me or any one of the people in my LGBT YouTube collaboration. We are very willing to help. :) Thank you for reading <3
Side note: Caroline and I broke up in May 2011. She lives in Jacksonville with the girl she cheated on me with. Sometimes we’re on good terms and sometimes we want to blow each other’s brains out. But, that’s how it is with your first love!
Caroline and I: